Comparison of Basic Couples' Encounters and Marriage Encounters
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- Small Group Research [ 1046-4964 ] ; 1976-05.
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DOI: 10.1177/104649647600700204
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name="istex:docType"></istex:docType><istex:document><article article-type="research-article" dtd-version="2.3" xml:lang="EN"><front><journal-meta><journal-id journal-id-type="hwp">spsgr</journal-id><journal-id journal-id-type="publisher-id">SGR</journal-id><journal-title>Small Group Research</journal-title><issn pub-type="ppub">1046-4964</issn><publisher><publisher-name>Sage Publications</publisher-name><publisher-loc>Sage CA: Thousand Oaks, CA</publisher-loc></publisher></journal-meta><article-meta><article-id pub-id-type="doi">10.1177/104649647600700204</article-id><article-id pub-id-type="publisher-id">10.1177_104649647600700204</article-id><article-categories><subj-group subj-group-type="heading"><subject>Articles</subject></subj-group></article-categories><title-group><article-title>Comparison of Basic Couples' Encounters and Marriage Encounters</article-title></title-group><contrib-group><contrib contrib-type="author" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Gray</surname><given-names>Christopher Berry</given-names></name><aff>Concordia University</aff></contrib></contrib-group><pub-date pub-type="ppub"><month>05</month><year>1976</year></pub-date><volume>7</volume><issue>2</issue><fpage>197</fpage><lpage>220</lpage><custom-meta-wrap><custom-meta xlink:type="simple"><meta-name>sagemeta-type</meta-name><meta-value>Journal Article</meta-value></custom-meta><custom-meta xlink:type="simple"><meta-name>search-text</meta-name><meta-value>197 Comparison of Basic Couples' Encounters and Marriage Encounters SAGE Publications, Inc.1976DOI: 10.1177/104649647600700204 Christopher Berry Gray Concordia University Recently two humanizing movements have begun in North America, with considerable interrelation and overlap but with the press thus far all on one side. Several technical studies, some popular books and many press articles' have viewed basic encounters such as are sponsored by Esalen Insitute, National Training Laboratories, Human Development Institute, and ever more organizations; but as yet the marriage encounter has been known to only a limited public, has had nearly no analysis of its dynamics, and no comparison at all to basic encounters. This article is sparked by the sometimes frightened and sometimes overenthusiastic, but always misconceived, identification of the two encounters which has been experienced in several years of leading and publicizing marriage encounters. As an initial intuitive handle for anyone familiar with either, marriage encounter is a religious couple- dynamic whereas basic couples' encounter is a secular group-dynamic. ORIGINS The common term "encounter" has a clinical meaning in reference to couples' encounter and a philosophico-religious SMALL GROUP BEHAVIOR, Vol. 7 No. 2, May 1976 @1976 Sage Publications, Inc. 68198 meaning in reference to marriage encounter. One strand of the clinical meaning is the "client-centered therapy" theorized by Carl Rogers over the past 35 years. Herein the client's own history imposes his therapy at his own initiative upon him, with therapist serving to objectify that verbalized history by mirroring it rather than by introducing extraneous advice. Rogers' Counselling Center at the University of Chicago initiated training groups to prepare counsellors speedily for GIs returning from the Second World War by training the counsellors to understand their own effect upon groups. The second strand of the clinical meaning of "encounter" is in the studies of group dynamics by Kurt Lewin in the 20 years preceding the end of the war. Applying the principles he had developed on the freezing, unfreezing, and refreezing of behavior, the impact of immediate objectified feedback, the effectiveness of self-initiated group decision upon behavioral change, Lewin was at his death in 1946 finishing plans for the first training group (T-group). This group direction, particularly in industry, in education, and in social agencies, became the focus of Lewin's National Training Laboratories. Practitioners of both developments quickly became aware that the encounter between client and therapist fostered healthy growth as well as recovery from illness, a growth in which the group could well replace the therapist, and that the training was only secondarily training in specified projects and was primarily in human development. Encounter today, as a result, has sloughed off both its therapeutic and its training origins, and has taken on the development of human potential. 2 The term "encounter" in marriage encounters derives from the existential philosophies of Karl Jaspers, Martin Buber, and particularly Jose Ortega y Gasset. These philosophers pursued primarily a redefinition of mankind in some fashion that would avoid building into the definition the presumption that man is a thinglike individual, differentiated from 69199 other things only by being a particular class of things; that is, they wished to escape being forced to say that men and mountains are different things just as horses and mountains are different things. The practical reason behind this move was to withdraw justification from any subordination of men as means to yet further ends in this modern era of political, social and technological totalitarianism. The theoretical appeal they made was to human negativity in all its forms, man's existence being one that is able to identify itself with the past, with the future, with the distant, with the possible, with the other, with the infinite. Existential man was not, therefore, able to have his nature yanked roughly and unwillingly from him, since what he is is not fully given for empirical, even longitudinal, observation. He must yield himself up, if he is to be truly caught at all by another, and this he does through telling where he is: his beliefs, his hopes, his intentions, his loves, his lapses. Sometimes he may, sometimes he may not do this; he will do it only when he knows his self-revelation will not be used to mutilate him, that is, to enclose him again in some such thinglike definition as "a planning-to-be-a-doctor thing," "one of those," which must conform to the role and institutional expectations. He will, that is, do so only in trust, in love. And in this condition he can do even more; for now the suggestions from someone trusted and loved may reveal to a person himself what he is incapable of telling even to himself about where he is, even though this is, as always, a spot he has freely chosen. The most available version of this sense in the English- speaking world is Buber's "I-Thou relation"; in the Spanish- speaking world it is Ortega's encuentro. When Ignazio Calvo and his parishoners sought a term for what they wished to do 15 years ago, it is no wonder this latter should have been their choice. It is a just return: grown-up members of the Young Christian Workers, a group begun in southern Europe, began the Christian Family Movement in Chicago; and the Spanish version of this, the Movimiento Familiar Cristiano, 70200 was returned to Spain to give rise to the heightened needs of Calvo's group for encuentro between surprisingly distant marriage partners, their families, their clergy, and their social order. The design Calvo developed was restored to North America five years ago. The clinical and the philosophical senses of "encounter" have been institutionalized in contexts other than their respective original ones. There seems to be no initial discrepancy betwen them, either, since the basic encounter has aimed at the development of a climate of trust and the marriage encounter has sought the most fertile techniques. Whether they are finally discrepant or not awaits further study.3 3 PURPOSE The purpose of both groups is to improve the communication between husband and wife. In each case this is the proximate purpose, the ultimate purpose of both being to open the couple beyond themselves. The presumption is that each is closed in upon himself, in a thinglike manner, and that the opening of this closure to free statement of facts, opinions, and desires and the free expression of affections, will be first a behavioral and then a personality change which, with reinforcement, participants will carry over into the social order at large. The environmental closure-opening model of personality latent in the foregoing explanation is not in conflict with either a model of dynamic equilibrium among personality components nor the model of self-determination. This closure is not, however, to be understood as though the atrophied responses arise in an isolated self. Their origin is as intersubjective as their disposal.4 The closure is a loss not only to others but also to the self; what is not shared is not 71201 retained for the self, either. The thinking that is either explicit, as with Frederic Perls, the Esalen Gestalt therapist, or implicit is that of the American social philosopher, George Herbert Mead: inner behavior is only a tacit rehearsal for external behavior and has the same manifestable structure rather than an unavailable "private language." CLIENTELE The people who take encounters of either sort seem much alike. The majority of marriage encounter clients have been of middle socioeconomic class; the same seems to have been true of couples' encounters, and perhaps the explanation Rogers gives of this applies to both sorts of encounter. As long as I am concerned over next month's rent, I am not very sharply aware of my loneliness. This is borne out, in my experience, by the fact that interest in encounter groups and the like is not nearly so keen in ghetto areas as in sections of the population which are no longer so concerned about the physical necessities of life. [Rogers, 1970a: 10] He says this despite the fact he also acknowledges that the "lower-class is easier to reach because they have less to defend. "S This factual limitation (aided perhaps by the high cost of the couples' encounter although not of the marriage encounter) does not coincide with any intended limitation; quite the contrary, both intend reaching an unlimited population. One of the initiators of marriage encounter, Donald Hessler, was fond of saying that the only justification for an approach to well-off people was that it would lead them in turn to approach those less well-off. For, as Stoller puts it, the most likely candidates for encounter are "chronic undifferentiated people." Just this undifferentiation might present difficulties of selection, however; for the undiffer- 72202 entiation is skewed when the group includes psychotic individuals. 6 Physically violent behavior is the main feature to be selected out, since other maladaptive behaviors may be lived through better within the group than unsupported by it. What it is necessary to select, however, is that the group contain no predominance or even high proportion of these individuals among the dozen or 15 members. This is even more true of the marriage encounter than of the couples' encounter, since it does not make any contention of being therapeutic, whereas the latter may always return to its therapeutic origins if necessary. PERSONNEL The leaders of the two encounters are accordingly of differing competence. The leader or facilitator of the couples' encounter functions as one of the participants by being as open to reflection by the rest as are all the others. He is normally nondirective, certainly insofar as he is following no program except that everyone there should have had their relationships attended to before the encounter is over. The Gestalt therapist will be more directive, as will the leader with a multitude of nonverbal exercises to be performed. The marriage encounter leader, on the other hand, is not present to the group as one of the participants, although he is certainly present to his spouse as such and although he often recounts his present dilemmas. But in general the marriage encounter leader team (husband, wife, clergyman-as representing the social vocations in the church, as does the encounter group: married couples, clerical couples, religious couples, single couples) is directive of the scheduling of phases and is communicative of the cognitive content, both of which will be dealt with later. As such, the leader team is really much more leader than participant. This changes the group process and the materials for encounter; but this 73203 difference would be detrimental only if the process and materials were meant to be the same. As will be concluded, they are not so intended; only the purpose is. A further difference between leaders of the two encounter types is that basic encounter leaders must be professionally trained for such work-all writers agree on this even when they deplore its lack of implementation-while marriage encounter leaders are not professionals in social or psychological dynamics. At first sight this seems incongruous with the above difference between them; those with a more dominant role would seem to require more expertise. The reason this is untrue is that the participation of the basic encounter leader in his nondirective capacity has as its aim the provocation of crisis for each individual vis-a-vis partner and group, while the directive marriage encounter leader by his input is relegating the majority of interaction to each individual with his partner rather than fronting the group. Of any conflict, from severe to simply agreed difference, all that meets the marriage encounter group is evidence of its occurrence outside the group. Consequently, the couples' encounter leader needs to know just what input is required to carry high critical feelings through successfully lest personality structures be destroyed. The marriage encounter leader, on the other hand, finds the individual able to travel only so far as his partner, with natural prophylaxis of crises before they enter the group whole, where they would be less within the control of the individual. Restated, the marriage encounter has less need of third parties; the team and group are at most third parties by setting a climate, not for handling the resolution. On the other side of this issue, it follows that if the marriage encounter leader does not provoke the crises nor directly handle them-a matter of consummate skill, neither then can his lack of skill in what input he gives detract from the efficacy of the encounter. 74204 MATERIALS The task that emerges directly from considering what qualities the leaders of the two encounters have is to indicate just what it is that the leaders work with, i.e., the material for each of the encounters. The distinction is difficult to draw, for both share an axiom alien to classical psychoanalysis, that it is in the "right now," the kairos, that reality is effected, rather than in a past which can at best be understood but not challenged. As Edward Tolman put it in a memorial speech about Lewin: Lewin's emphasis on the ahistorical, contemporaneous, systematic determiners of behavior is an expression of a new and tremendously fruitful intellectual insight.... This emphasis on the importance of the contemporaneous signified that in order to mitigate the horrors of our world we can in large measure do so by inducing the appropriate field forces. We do not have to wait and start all over again with our infants and our infants' infants. We can begin here and now with ourselves, however unfortunate our personal histories may have been. [Marrow, 1969: 228] The distinction of materials is difficult because both work within these same limits, but at differents points therein. The couples' encounter is concerned specifically with the ongoing group process; this is the content of the feedback which is given and is the source of information found valuable by the participants. A fine story of how this focus made its first appearance is given by Lewin. During the training period ... those who remained on campus had nothing to do but sit around and they asked if they might sit in on the feedback meetings in which the research staff ... reported on the unprocessed data they had collected in observing the three groups of trainees.... The result ... was like a "tremendous electric charge ... as people reacted to data about their own behavior." Thus, the role of feedback in a T (training)-group was discovered. [Marrow, 1969: 212] 75205 Here it is the "I just did this" that is important, however that be communicated-recording, verbal report or accusation, videotape. This is what is focused upon by leader and group, this is why the phases proceed as they do, which we shall see soon, and this is what the experience of encounter is, the experience of having communicated.' 7 In the marriage encounter, on the contrary, the focus is no longer formal, upon the form of communication, but substantial, upon the substance of what is communicated.g The here and now moment is one's desires coming to a point, the bearing of these ideals on facts and behavior, the importance of a responsibility to the partner. It is true that the content of marriage encounter is not the abstract, past, future, or otherwise absent empty words; but there is no attempt to make this communication of values, recognitions, memories more important than those values, and so on. GROUP PROCESS The group process of the couples' encounter, or any basic encounter, is detailed by Rogers and compacted somewhat in scope by Stoller (Rogers, 1970a: ch. 2; Stoller, 1970: 408). People "mill around" because they expect to be given some focus for communication but are disappointed, since that focus is their not-yet-occurred communications. They tell about themselves, resisting personal feeling expression and setting up how they would like others to see them. Some responses to these stories are unexpected and are taken negatively, since the negative tone is less vulnerable than the positive. This requires then going into personally meaningful material beyond stories in the past, since no one can withdraw, each provoking surprise reactions to each other's stories; and with this material comes attention to the immediate personal feelings, leading to individual feedback, cracking facades, confrontation. This calls forth from the 76206 group the "healing capacity" and now, in the new intimacy, positive feelings as well can emerge, what Stoller calls the "love feast." Negative and positive self-acceptance is acceptance of potential; change is no longer threatening, so solutions and decisions for acting upon both self and environment can now be taken. The marriage encounter group process shares these features at each of the phases of the weekend, as would any communication in depth. But its structure is probably closest, among basic encounters, to the "rational encounter" of Albert Ellis, at least insofar as his is more directive, problem-solving, rational-cognitive. As Ellis admits, these features are installed to handle some of the specific criticisms of basic encounters, that they are psychologically irresponsible, anti-intellectual, narcissistic, impermanent, elitist, gimmicky, hedonistic, diffuse, and ultimately counter- therapeutic. The marriage encounter, however, is not even as gimmicky as the rational encounter (e.g., Ellis's directive to "Engage in a love experience with someone in the group, right now"), and as already seen does not pretend to cater to highly disturbed individuals. But still the Ellis program of round robins moving from introduction, reasons for attendance, most disturbing events, the most shameful, most important, most touching, doing something risky, something antagonistic, something loving, and then the picking of someone to aid with a problem, followed by more individualized attention, come closer to marriage encounter than do the undirective couples' encounters (Ellis, 1970: 112-127). The marriage encounter process is two-dimensional. The group process consists of brief presentations by leaders and occasional reports by the group, each of these 15 phases alternated with dialog within each couple as the second and couple-oriented dimension. The leader presentations follow a set, progressive sequence of phases. The four or five group reports concern the results of couples' dialog just preceding 77207 the report, voluntarily and with no duress, as much or as little as wished. The dialog of the couple is of a determinate structure each time, with its focus being questions posed for all at the conclusion of the preceding presentation. Marriage encounter presentations begin on the first evening with an introduction to the method of dialog to be used, and directions to employ it in answering "Why did you come to this encounter? What do you hope to gain from it?" This is to establish a simple, fraternal atmosphere, and often initiates the later intimacy. After couples report to the group on this, the second presentation sets out what the encounter is and urges the attitudes that foster it; couples then spend the early hours of the morning on the question "What are three specific incidents that have most united us?" The second and busiest day commences with a report on the previous night's dialog, followed by presentation of the possibilities for recognizing both favorable and unfavorable features of the self, and how these contribute to forming community. They are questioned "What are my bad points and your good qualities? What is the cause of my bad points? What does God want of me right now?" The idea is not to make resolutions for the future but to perform them immediately. This initiates "Spiritual Divorce," a presentation of the fertility or futility of marital crises, depending whether they are used or just accepted. The dialog following it inquires after symptoms of such a condition in my marriage, why they occur, and how to rectify symptoms and causes. This is carried further in the final morning session, in which couples are asked to dialog on those of a large number of "Subjects for Understanding" which need most attention-money, health, time, work, rest, sex, children, relatives, religion, home atmosphere, social involvement, death, insurance: not just whether steps need to be taken, but how we feel about them, disturbed, indifferent, cocksure. The presentation preceding it involved the leaders in telling how to deal with 78208 the items, largely by anecdotes of their own chief concerns. Since the purpose here is to accustom the couples to speaking of the more difficult areas, the leaders usually talk of sexual activity, of death, of stereotypical role expectations. The phases have now moved from self to couple, and although the religious context has been present throughout it moves front and center in the second day afternoon. All the phases there center on it. The afternoon begins with a group meditation on the Sower parable and ends with one on the Cana events, respectively to open couples to the religious fertility of marriage and to close them in upon the concrete scriptural model. The two presentations between these concern the role of marriage in God's plan, and the spiritual life and consciousness of married people. In general, the point is to recognize what we already have, so as to be able to employ it. The elevation of marriage to matrimony is taken in the sense of all supernatural religion, to wit, the natural phenomena are not denigrated in the least since they are the consummate that we can achieve, but their sanctifying is so much better than we could have had any reason to hope for, that there is no alternative but to try and share it as widely as possible. The model employed is not the ubiquitous fertility archetype of life-death interpenetration, although that is employed as it is indeed in the scriptures, but rather the Trinitarian life of identity in nature with distinction in person and role. The psychological dynamic here is clearly the insurance that Christian marriage cannot fail when opened to available and present resources. The drastic impact of this upon decision-making and mutual confidence is evident. Dialogs follow each of these two presentations, one upon how the couple has failed to see their marriage as a community of love, and the other on the specific ways (following examples in the presentation) that can be employed to deepen the matrimonial spirituality. 79209 Evening of the second day is a lengthy presentation, group interaction, and finally couple dialog, all on the mutual confidence we need, its absence, and ways to gain it. Usually the weight of conviction built up through the encounter so far makes this a very open and healing session. Morning of the final day utilizes this advance. It commences with a more detailed presentation of the resources of matrimony, and expands into a three-hour couple dialog which is their matrimonial evaluation, some hundred searching questions on self, couple, godlife, children or lack of children, relatives, neighbors, homelife, social life. This exhausting and freeing high point is continued in the afternoon with the "Open and Apostolic Family" phase, wherein the by now evident impossibility of closing the "open family" onto itself is probed. The couple's deepened community of love is the possibility for their generally increased sensitivity towards and intimacy with persons. The presentation is laden with suggestions, expanded by the group-sharing following it. This puts all in position for the design of a plan of life, which forms the final substantial dialog the couple decides upon. The marriage encounter presentations terminate with a critique and an announcement of the follow-ups, a month, several months, and annually thereafter. The term "dialog" employed throughout surely appeared to be a technical term at best and insider's jargon at worst. It is indeed technical, but not jargon held aloft by abstractions, since it is concretized into a specific technique which seems to contain the best elements of basic encounter group dynamic. The technique is simple enough: to each question write a response alone; exchange written responses with spouse; read spouse's response; talk over the responses. Half of each time period allowed for dialog is spent reflecting and writing, the other half reading and talking, whether that period be 20 minutes or the long three hours or the whole night. As much of an answer or as many questions as are 80210 done at that time are exchanged; completeness is not as important as sincerity, since this technique is meant only to be learned at encounter, and to be continued later. The questions and the technique carry to everyone the initial impression of childishness and artificiality. But, as Litwak said of his basic encounter: I considered this renaming of ourselves a naive attempt to create an atmosphere free of any outside reference. Many of the techniques impressed me as naive. It seemed tactless and obvious to ask so blunt and vague a question as "What are you feeling?" Yet what happened in the course of five days was that the obvious became clarified. Cliches became significant. [Litwak, 1967: 28] There is a wealth of potentiality in the method. One "tells his story" in each question, but doesn't start by expecting to get away with as much initial subterfuge as he would with strangers. Each partner is incapable of modifying and falsifying a response in midstream in adjustment to a rising facial or bodily reaction from his partner or the group. The modifications each puts to the theme or question are ones peculiar to him, not those which are expected of him in an interaction face to face. The distance or impersonality the method seems to contain is no flaw but an advantage; the impersonality objectifies the response in a way that intersubjective discourse could never do, and practically requires misunderstanding, a misunderstanding itself objectified in turn. That is, what comes out is fact, undeniable by a "you missed the point" (followed then by a subtle alteration of the point really grasped too well). The facts concern emotion, but these are the important facts. The group as a whole could not do better than this diarist objectivity, objectivity reflected even more surprisingly when read and commented upon by my partner. The movement is towards the healthy Kierkegaardian ideal of becoming objective about myself and subjective about others. 81211 The reading and the talking have all the potency of the group dynamic of basic encounter. The conflicts are equally as objectified as the positions taken, being written; and it is in the abrasion of these induced crises that purgation of feeling and enlightenment of mind is struck. What should be noted is that there is no premium here upon fluency. In fact, the voluble individual seems to sense the impending threat to his smokescreen and is, in our experience, the most reluctant to take up the technique. Recorders can readily be substituted for less literate persons. The group dimension of marriage encounter does not duplicate, it is clear, that of the basic couples' encounter. The confrontation essential to the latter occurs, in marriage encounter, primarily within the couple's own dialog. The support is given there. The prying up of tight lids is accomplished by the dialog technique rather than by the group's intransigent persistency towards the individual. Why, then, have the group at all? Marriage encounter seems to be confined to the couple dimension. This is not true, for the group continues to have several roles. The "spectator therapy" spoken of so frequently by basic encounter writing continues here; for, although most of what happens in the group is report of couple interaction, there is often unfinished business which requires continuation outside the couple in order to lower their barriers decisively. Then again, the group is needed as a forum for announcing the joy and wonder in couple discovery; for such insight cries out for sharing. As well, the problems which each couple thinks idiosyncratic if not perverse to themselves alone become open for dialog when another couple indicates their sharing of that problem. Finally, as in the scriptural meditations, there are skills which a couple is unsure of alone, and feels the need for example and mutual stumbling over. 82212 TECHNIQUES The group is also needed for the demonstration of emotion which is too powerful to be exhausted by the couple even at their peak of love. This raises the question of how much technique for achieving this the encounter can sustain. That even the basic encounter is not univocal on this feature is made clear by Rogers' comparison of his own reticence over the use of tactile techniques to the attitudes of his daughter and granddaughter, both also in encounter work but increasingly favorable towards body mechanics. In marriage encounter there is some community touching-handholding, hugging; it is not, however, employed as an instrument for achieving some effect but is always simply the manifestation of feeling already being experienced. It is in the main expressive of the community of love as the group becomes increasingly aware of it. It is part of community prayer, usually, a circumstance when participants feel a maximum need for assurance of community support and acceptance. The writing of dialog could itself be considered gimmicky, but the remarks above on its aim should indicate that its role is not for itself but for the dialog. It is curious how often in reports of basic couples' encounters the reporters quote from documents-diaries, letters, notes, questionnaires-which participants have written as being indicative of the en- counter's effectiveness; yet they never seem to have drawn any conclusions regarding the incorporation of writing into encounter technique directly. There is also a moderate use of environmental equipment: candles, pithy poster materials, music. Again, its use is the same as that of body contact, expressive and not manipulative. No one wants to trade the passion of encounter for the sentimental emotion of our usual distractions, but a basic encounter report describes well the effectiveness when the leader "ended our last meeting by playing a record from The Man of La Mancha, 'The Impossible Dream.' " We were at 83213 that point of sentiment where corny lyrics announced truths and we could be illuminated by the wisdom of cliches" (Litwak, 1967: 31 ). The experiencing of feeling by its release in encounter is not sought out in marriage encounter. It nonetheless is welcome; this couple have never been part of a marriage encounter where tears of joy and pain were not shed in the group, and do not doubt their rise for each couple individually. It occurs chiefly in the shock of recognizing deficiency before one's tacit goals or before goals he would have wished to have, and in the surprise of plenitude before one's partner and his or her aid. What this requires in turn is the healing Rogers describes beautifully. A striking aspect of any intensive group is the manner in which group members show a natural spontaneous capacity for dealing in a helpful, facilitative and therapeutic fashion with the pain and suffering of others. This kind of ability shows up so commonly in groups that the ability to be healing or therapeutic is far more common in human life than we might suppose. Often it needs only the permission granted by a free-flowing group experience to become evident. Individuals who have no training whatsoever in a helping relationship often exhibit a sensitive capacity to listen, an ability to understand the deeper significance of some of the attitudes expressed, and a warmth of caring that are truly helpful. [Rogers, 1970b: 546] The healing, however, is not immediate and can be carried out successfully and longitudinally only by the one who knows the tender spots of the sore. The responsibility put upon matrimony is matched by a heightened capacity in matrimony. Healing, that is to say, occurs only secondarily in the marriage encounter group, and this is because the crises as well occur there only secondarily. Writers on couples' encounters stress that understanding is not an important feature of the group dynamic, since the thing that the group alone and not oneself can give is the 84214 indication of how one affects the group; feedback is more important than understanding. There is something similar in marriage encounter, in that the reaction of one's partner is given initially in the dialog without any clarifying remarks. But the basic encounter conclusion is too strong; understanding is not unimportant or suspect simply because it is gratifying. In the basic encounter itself, in fact, the feedback is not ultimately determinative, since the writers refer now and again to the need to reflect on the feedback and decide what to accept as valid and what to reject.9 IDEOLOGY The group process of the marriage encounter is closely associated with a religious meaning. How closely it is tied is an issue that arises whenever one is questioned, for example, on why the marriage encounter is made so restrictive to believers, if it is as great as we think. (In fact, it is not; nonbelievers are frequently present in mixed marriages.) Put differently, one could ask of both sorts of encounter for married people whether one must believe in its worth to benefit. Clearly there is no act of faith necessary in either sort of encounter, simply because for the most part the entrants would not even know what to believe in. What is essential for couples' encounter and for marriage encounter, however, is what one friend calls "want power," the sense of lack combined with the desire to grow, or at least no refusal to do so. For the marriage encounter, belief beyond this, religious belief, is not absolutely essential for profit and growth; that has been the point of much of the foregoing, to show the independent validity of the psychological dynamic. Yet it is clear that the impact of that dynamic at some points depends upon the access of the participant to religious under- 85215 standings, so the nonreligious validity is partly dependent on religious factors. The individual's benefit would be lessened, then, by lacking religious belief. Add to this the factor that the secular approach to religious belief, if the approach is not weakly tolerant, is to ask for rational proof of the belief, and that this is just what supernatural religion makes no claim to offer, quite the contrary. The sincere nonbeliever, then, could only be a disruptive influence to the community being formed. He could be present only if he has the same attitude as the believers, as the early apostles: a waiting attitude of gratitude for what is beyond everything that one has a right to expect. But taking this "what I'm missing!" attitude would make it difficult to remain in disbelief, anyway. The religious assumptions are, in fact, highly contributive toward the psychological success of the marriage encounter. The context is sacramental. Participants identify their union as Trinitarian, i.e., indissoluble love and also assured of success if it is sought. Right there some nonpossibilities are excluded, and the context for problem-solving and feeling expression is the mental set of "no other way." The marriage can be done badly, but it cannot not be done somehow. If I don't love you ... then I'd better get to, fast! The incarnation of God in Jesus is identified as the accomplishment of love and also as the future godliness of all flesh; marital love, then, is divine love while as earthly as it ever was. Fervent religious piety and devotion are not what are at stake here, but only the believer's shock of recognizing what his life is. Finally, the Eucharist becomes the focus of the group's physical activity, which is not an a priori attempt to forge a real bond where there was none, but the recognition and manifestation that the community is presently embodied and in touch. The final sacramental impact of marriage encounter is the same as occurs in the curious phenomenon of the transition from orthodox to reformed Jew. The ritual of the orthodox is a social worship, and not just a memorial but a reality 86216 restored; the Jew then can readily see the reality of his religion identified with the reality of social tasks, the genesis of the socially conscious reformed Jew or former Jew. For the Christian believer the same event occurs: the state of matrimony is the reality of God's presence and so cannot remain in the isolated occurrence of the marriage encounter weekend. This builds in the suggestion of Rogers for the continued success of the encounter group, namely, that its decisions be reinforced by the group remaining in contact outside the group encounter, in job, leisure, project, therapy, even specially set reunions. What group is more continuously in contact than the couple, to reinforce each other? The couple is forced into making the marriage encounter efficacious by their remaining together. 1 0 EVALUATION The conclusion to this comparison of the origin, factors, process and ideology of the encounters might be to inquire whether they accomplish different results and thereby perhaps complement each other, or whether they accomplish the same result better or worse and thus are to be preferred one to the other. The easier path would be the former, of course, yet the latter I feel is the correct move. They do seem to serve the same ends. Now, which better and which worse? One finds no disparagers among practitioners of either, and neutral observers outside seem impossible to locate. Contradictory data exists for couples' encounters, and some outsiders even claim the data from leaders is self-selective, since their failures never surface with them but only with other therapists; while for marriage encounters no data exists. Perhaps the same critique could be made in principle of any data it might supply. Any judgment of respective value would have to be based on internal structures. 87217 From this point of view, marriage encounter seems to lack nothing that couples' encounter could give, not even the thrill; the secondary rank of group process to couple process in the former leaves ungained nothing that the latter could give. From the other direction, couples' encounter does not lack the dialog between partners, although there is no device to "institutionalize" it, i.e., give it possibilities of permanency. It does, however, lack the solidity the marriage encounter has for believers, and considers this lack a healthy element of risk and of excitement. In marriage encounter there is risk indeed, but not just risk. The conclusion, therefore, between couples' encounter and marriage encounter, for believers and nonbelievers, is: both populations can grow equally from the former sort of encounter; the latter people will profit less from the latter sort of encounter; and the former group can profit more from the latter sort of encounter. It is hoped these conclusions are borne out by the structural possibilities of each sort of humanizing movement. NOTES 1. These references include only sources not referred to in later notes: Bach (1966); Bradford, Gibb, and Benne (1964); Benms, Benne, and Chin (1961); Benms, Schein, Berlew, and Steele (1964); Bugenthal (1967); Gibb (review of the research studies devoted to encounter groups; 1970); Otto (1968); Perls, Hefferline, and Goodman (1951); Satir (1969); Schutz (1967, 1971); articles include: Leonard (1968); Lindberg (1970); and Marzella (1970). An overview for students is found in Murphy (1969). 2. John Downing, Director of San Mateo City Mental Health Services, says: "It is the concern of psychiatry to adjust people to the social environment. Esalen, rather, is concerned with those who are too well adjusted, too tight and controlled. It attempts to release them for further growth and greater integration" (in Litwak, 1967: 8). And Leland Bradford, Director of the National Training Laboratories, gives the present essence of encounters in this way: "Lewin's great concept of creating 'here and now' data, analyzing it, and using feedback remains the essential element in all the many variations of sensitivity training and encounter groups" (in Marrow, 1969: 214). 88218 3. Throughout this study, the term "marriage encounter" will be used for the Calvo design, and either "basic encounter" or "couples encounter" for the Lewin-Rogers design. Only with the Esalen Institute has the basic encounter been offered for married couples specifically. Whenever mentioned, it will be this couples encounter that is under study, not the wide variety of T-groups, sensitivity groups, synanons, body awareness groups, and so on, although these latter are much better documented. 4. Compare basic encounter: "The significance of the encounter in psychotherapy increases as psychopathology is seen not as a personal disease, but as an interpersonal event which, when actualized, is actualized between or among people just as it originated not in but among people" (Malone, 1970: 132-133). 5. Rogers (1970: 552). This article is unsigned, but almost certainly authored by Rogers because so much of it is verbatim from his other writings. Rogers is on the board of editors for the volume. 6. Compare, however, the surprising characterization of membership offered by Frederick H. Stoller (1969: 405): "the assumption made about the members is that they are not sick. This is true even when some or all of the group members are disturbed." An explanation comes, perhaps, from Malone (1970: 136): "psychological sickness per se is unalterable, except as it is overwhelmed by the growth of the health of a patient. Again it is in my experience that in groups, people have less interest in sickness and more response to health." 7. Stoller (1970: 157): "What counts is not the content of what is being said but its effects upon others." 8. This approximates more Erving Polster's view, contrary to Stoller's: "Topic-centeredness is frequently excluded from group therapy situations, which focus upon personal experience of the participants and frown upon intellectualism.... Actually, nothing is farther from the truth. Our lives are tied into external events.... Psychotherapists, through our theories of personal introspection and our concern with only what is immediately before us may, in developing group psychotherapy, have cut out the substance of our existences and made our group situations overly stylized and irrelevant" (Stoller, 1970: 157). 9. For example, "Then I could weigh it and think about it, ask are they right or wrong? How much truth is there in it?" (Maslow, 1971: 236). 10. This is recognized by Jack R. and Lorraine M. Gibb (1970: 47): "The group experience is more powerful and permanent if it is imbedded in significant organizational life. An intensive small group experience is unnecessary and less important for a person who has memberships in high-growth small groups (the natural family, a management team, a planning group, a club). Training in a natural team is far more powerful than training in the heterogeneous groups that are common in group therapy and sensitivity training." REFERENCES Bach, G.R. (1966) "The marathon group: intensive practice of intimate interaction." Psych. Reports 18: 995-1002. 89219 Bennis, W., K. Benne, and M. Chin [eds.] (1961) The Planning of Change. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston. Bennis, W., M. Schein, M. Berlew, and M. Steele (1964) Interpersonal Dynamics. Homewood, Ill.: Dorsey. Bradford, L., J. R. Gibb , and K. Benne [eds.] ( 1964) T-Group Therapy and Laboratory Method. New York: John Wiley. Bugenthal, J.F.T. [ed.] (1967) Challenges of Humanistic Psychology. New York: McGraw-Hill. Ellis, A. (1970) "A weekend of rational encounter," in Arthur Burton (ed.) Encounter. San Francisco, Calif.: Jossey-Bass. Gibb, J.R. (1970) "The effects of human relations training," pp. 2114-2176 in A. E. Bergin and S. L. Garfield (eds.) Handbook of Psychotherapy and Behavior Change. New York: John Wiley. --- and L.M. Gibb (1970) "Role freedom in a TORI group," in Arthur Burton (ed.) Encounter. San Francisco, Calif.: Jossey-Bass. Leonard, G.B. (1968) "The man and woman thing." Look (December 24): 55-72. Lindberg, M. (1970) "Encounter groups: do they free personalities or endanger them?" Washington Post, Potomac Magazine (July 5): 4-11. Litwak, L.E. (1967) "A trip to Esalen Institute: joy is the prize." New York Times Magazine (December 31). Malone, T.P. (1970) "Encountering and groups," in Arthur Burton (ed.) Encounter. San Francisco, Calif.: Jossey-Bass. Marrow, A.J. (1969) The Practical Theorists: The Life and Work of Kurt Lewin. New York: Basic Books. Marzella, M. (1970) "Journey of emotion without the chorus." St. Petersburg Times (April 12): 1E, 13E. Maslow, A.H. (1971) "Synanon and Eupsychia," in The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. New York: Viking. Murphy, M. (1969) "Esalen: where it's at," pp. 410-415 in Readings in Psychology Today. Del Mar, Calif.: CRM Books. Otto, H. (1968) Group Methods Designed to Actualize Human Potential: A Handbook. Chicago, Ill.: Achievement Motivation Systems. Perls, F., R. Heferline, and P. Goodman (1951) Gestalt Therapy. New York: Julian. Polster, E. (1970) "Encounter in community," in Arthur Burton (ed.) Encounter. San Francisco, Calif.: Jossey-Bass. Rogers, C.R. (1970a) Carl Rogers on Encounter Groups. New York: Harper & Row. ——— (1970b) "The intensive group experience," in Psychology Today: An Introduction. Del Mar, Calif.: CRM Books. Satir, V. (1969) Conjoint Family Therapy. Palo Alto, Calif.: Science & Behavior Books. Schutz, W. (1971) Here Comes Everybody: Bodymind and Encounter Culture . New York: Harper & Row. ——— (1967) Joy. New York: Grove. 90220 Stoller, F.H. (1970) "A stage for trust," in Arthur Burton (ed.) Encounter. San Francisco, Calif.: Jossey-Bass. --- ( 1969) "The long weekend," in M. Murphy, Readings in Psychology Today. Del Mar, Calif.: CRM Books. Christopher Berry Gray teaches Philosophy at Loyola of Montreal. Dr. Gray has contributed to journals and collections on architecture, business, literature, law, psychiatry, and philosophy, and his translation of Maurice Hauriou's classic work in social science and philosophy is forthcoming. He has been active in group work since 1967 and has promoted marriage encounters in the Montreal area since 1969.</meta-value></custom-meta></custom-meta-wrap></article-meta></front><back><notes><p>1. These references include only sources not referred to in later notes: Bach (1966); Bradford, Gibb, and Benne (1964); Benms, Benne, and Chin (1961); Benms, Schein, Berlew, and Steele (1964); Bugenthal (1967); Gibb (review of the research studies devoted to encounter groups; 1970); Otto (1968); Perls, Hefferline, and Goodman (1951); Satir (1969); Schutz (1967, 1971); articles include: Leonard (1968); Lindberg (1970); and Marzella (1970). An overview for students is found in Murphy (1969).</p><p>2. John Downing, Director of San Mateo City Mental Health Services, says: "It is the concern of psychiatry to adjust people to the social environment. Esalen, rather, is concerned with those who are too well adjusted, too tight and controlled. It attempts to release them for further growth and greater integration" (in Litwak, 1967: 8). And Leland Bradford, Director of the National Training Laboratories, gives the present essence of encounters in this way: "Lewin's great concept of creating 'here and now' data, analyzing it, and using feedback remains the essential element in all the many variations of sensitivity training and encounter groups" (in Marrow, 1969: 214).</p><p>3. Throughout this study, the term "marriage encounter" will be used for the Calvo design, and either "basic encounter" or "couples encounter" for the Lewin-Rogers design. Only with the Esalen Institute has the basic encounter been offered for married couples specifically. Whenever mentioned, it will be this couples encounter that is under study, not the wide variety of T-groups, sensitivity groups, synanons, body awareness groups, and so on, although these latter are much better documented.</p><p>4. Compare basic encounter: "The significance of the encounter in psychotherapy increases as psychopathology is seen not as a personal disease, but as an interpersonal event which, when actualized, is actualized between or among people just as it originated not in but among people" (Malone, 1970: 132-133).</p><p>5. Rogers (1970: 552). This article is unsigned, but almost certainly authored by Rogers because so much of it is verbatim from his other writings. Rogers is on the board of editors for the volume.</p><p>6. Compare, however, the surprising characterization of membership offered by Frederick H. Stoller (1969: 405): "the assumption made about the members is that they are not sick. This is true even when some or all of the group members are disturbed." An explanation comes, perhaps, from Malone (1970: 136): "psychological sickness per se is unalterable, except as it is overwhelmed by the growth of the health of a patient. Again it is in my experience that in groups, people have less interest in sickness and more response to health."</p><p>7. Stoller (1970: 157): "What counts is not the content of what is being said but its effects upon others."</p><p>8. This approximates more Erving Polster's view, contrary to Stoller's: "Topic-centeredness is frequently excluded from group therapy situations, which focus upon personal experience of the participants and frown upon intellectualism.... Actually, nothing is farther from the truth. Our lives are tied into external events.... Psychotherapists, through our theories of personal introspection and our concern with only what is immediately before us may, in developing group psychotherapy, have cut out the substance of our existences and made our group situations overly stylized and irrelevant" (Stoller, 1970: 157).</p><p>9. For example, "Then I could weigh it and think about it, ask are they right or wrong? How much truth is there in it?" (Maslow, 1971: 236).</p><p>10. This is recognized by Jack R. and Lorraine M. Gibb (1970: 47): "The group experience is more powerful and permanent if it is imbedded in significant organizational life. An intensive small group experience is unnecessary and less important for a person who has memberships in high-growth small groups (the natural family, a management team, a planning group, a club). Training in a natural team is far more powerful than training in the heterogeneous groups that are common in group therapy and sensitivity training."</p></notes><ref-list><ref><citation citation-type="journal" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Bach, G.R.</surname></name> (<year>1966</year>) "<article-title>The marathon group: intensive practice of intimate interaction</article-title>." <source>Psych. Reports</source><volume>18</volume>: <fpage>995</fpage>-<lpage>1002</lpage>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Bennis, W.</surname></name>, <name name-style="western"><surname>K. Benne</surname></name>, and <name name-style="western"><surname>M. Chin</surname></name> [eds.] (<year>1961</year>) <source>The Planning of Change</source>. <publisher-loc>New York</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>Holt, Rinehart & Winston</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Bennis, W.</surname></name>, <name name-style="western"><surname>M. Schein</surname></name>, <name name-style="western"><surname>M. Berlew</surname></name>, and <name name-style="western"><surname>M. Steele</surname></name> (<year>1964</year>) <source>Interpersonal Dynamics</source>. <publisher-loc>Homewood, Ill.</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>Dorsey</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Bradford, L.</surname></name>, <name name-style="western"><surname>J. R. Gibb</surname></name> , and <name name-style="western"><surname>K. Benne</surname></name> [eds.] ( <year>1964</year>) <source>T-Group Therapy and Laboratory Method</source>. <publisher-loc>New York</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>John Wiley</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Bugenthal, J.F.T.</surname></name> [ed.] (<year>1967</year>) <source>Challenges of Humanistic Psychology</source>. <publisher-loc>New York</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>McGraw-Hill</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Ellis, A.</surname></name> (<year>1970</year>) "<source>A weekend of rational encounter,"</source> in <name name-style="western"><surname>Arthur Burton</surname></name> (ed.) <source>Encounter</source>. <publisher-loc>San Francisco, Calif.</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>Jossey-Bass</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Gibb, J.R.</surname></name> (<year>1970</year>) "<source>The effects of human relations training</source>," pp. <fpage>2114</fpage>-<lpage>2176</lpage> in <name name-style="western"><surname>A. E. Bergin</surname></name> and <name name-style="western"><surname>S. L. Garfield</surname></name> (eds.) <source>Handbook of Psychotherapy and Behavior Change</source>. <publisher-loc>New York</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>John Wiley</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple">--- and <name name-style="western"><surname>L.M. Gibb</surname></name> (<year>1970</year>) "<source>Role freedom in a TORI group,"</source> in <name name-style="western"><surname>Arthur Burton</surname></name> (ed.) <source>Encounter</source>. <publisher-loc>San Francisco, Calif.</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>Jossey-Bass</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="journal" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Leonard, G.B.</surname></name> (<year>1968</year>) "<article-title>The man and woman thing</article-title>." <source>Look</source> (December 24): <fpage>55</fpage>-<lpage>72</lpage>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="journal" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Lindberg, M.</surname></name> (<year>1970</year>) "<article-title>Encounter groups: do they free personalities or endanger them?</article-title>" <source>Washington Post, Potomac Magazine</source> (July 5): <fpage>4</fpage>-<lpage>11</lpage>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="journal" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Litwak, L.E.</surname></name> (<year>1967</year>) "<article-title>A trip to Esalen Institute: joy is the prize</article-title>." <source>New York Times Magazine</source> (December 31).</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Malone, T.P.</surname></name> (<year>1970</year>) "<source>Encountering and groups,"</source> in <name name-style="western"><surname>Arthur Burton</surname></name> (ed.) <source>Encounter</source>. <publisher-loc>San Francisco, Calif.</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>Jossey-Bass</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Marrow, A.J.</surname></name> (<year>1969</year>) <source>The Practical Theorists: The Life and Work of Kurt Lewin</source>. <publisher-loc>New York</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>Basic Books</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="journal" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Marzella, M.</surname></name> (<year>1970</year>) "<article-title>Journey of emotion without the chorus</article-title>." <source>St. Petersburg Times</source> (April 12): <fpage>1E</fpage>, <fpage>13E</fpage>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Maslow, A.H.</surname></name> (<year>1971</year>) "<source>Synanon and Eupsychia,"</source> in <source>The Farther Reaches of Human Nature</source>. <publisher-loc>New York</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>Viking</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Murphy, M.</surname></name> (<year>1969</year>) "<source>Esalen: where it's at</source>," pp. <fpage>410</fpage>-<lpage>415</lpage> in <source>Readings in Psychology Today</source>. <publisher-loc>Del Mar, Calif</publisher-loc>.: <publisher-name>CRM Books</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Otto, H.</surname></name> (<year>1968</year>) <source>Group Methods Designed to Actualize Human Potential: A Handbook</source>. <publisher-loc>Chicago, Ill.</publisher-loc>: <publisher-name>Achievement Motivation Systems</publisher-name>.</citation></ref><ref><citation citation-type="book" xlink:type="simple"><name name-style="western"><surname>Perls, F.</surname></name>, <name name-style="western"><surname>R. 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Murphy</surname></name>, <source>Readings in Psychology Today</source>. <publisher-loc>Del Mar, Calif</publisher-loc>.: <publisher-name>CRM Books</publisher-name>.</citation></ref></ref-list></back></article></istex:document></istex:metadataXml><mods version="3.6"><titleInfo lang="en"><title>Comparison of Basic Couples' Encounters and Marriage Encounters</title></titleInfo><titleInfo type="alternative" lang="en" contentType="CDATA"><title>Comparison of Basic Couples' Encounters and Marriage Encounters</title></titleInfo><name type="personal"><namePart type="given">Christopher Berry</namePart><namePart type="family">Gray</namePart><affiliation>Concordia University</affiliation></name><typeOfResource>text</typeOfResource><genre type="research-article" displayLabel="research-article"></genre><originInfo><publisher>Sage Publications</publisher><place><placeTerm type="text">Sage CA: Thousand Oaks, CA</placeTerm></place><dateIssued encoding="w3cdtf">1976-05</dateIssued><copyrightDate encoding="w3cdtf">1976</copyrightDate></originInfo><language><languageTerm type="code" authority="iso639-2b">eng</languageTerm><languageTerm type="code" authority="rfc3066">en</languageTerm></language><physicalDescription><internetMediaType>text/html</internetMediaType></physicalDescription><relatedItem type="host"><titleInfo><title>Small Group Research</title></titleInfo><genre type="journal">journal</genre><identifier type="ISSN">1046-4964</identifier><identifier type="eISSN"></identifier><identifier type="PublisherID">SGR</identifier><identifier type="PublisherID-hwp">spsgr</identifier><part><date>1976</date><detail type="volume"><caption>vol.</caption><number>7</number></detail><detail type="issue"><caption>no.</caption><number>2</number></detail><extent unit="pages"><start>197</start><end>220</end></extent></part></relatedItem><identifier type="istex">A0FFC9D4FBAD8FF2326A014853B5FDF01C55BBA3</identifier><identifier type="DOI">10.1177/104649647600700204</identifier><identifier type="ArticleID">10.1177_104649647600700204</identifier><recordInfo><recordContentSource>SAGE</recordContentSource></recordInfo></mods></metadata><serie></serie></istex></record>Pour manipuler ce document sous Unix (Dilib)
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