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Beyond Surviving

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Beyond Surviving

Auteurs : Sally V. Hunter

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RBID : ISTEX:19A265B17E796C2F11F76949368A5710C3C320A4

Abstract

The aim of this research project was to explore how men and women constructed a sense of self through narrative following an early sexual experience with an adult. Using narrative inquiry methodology, 22 in-depth interviews were conducted in New South Wales, Australia, with 13 women and 9 men ages between 25 and 70. All participants had an early sexual experience at the age of 15 or younger with someone 18 or older. Narrative analysis was used to examine the co-constructed stories that emerged. Participants told four evolving narratives about their experiences: narratives of silence, of ongoing suffering, of transformation, and of transcendence. The gender differences between these narratives have been examined in the light of the literature relating to childhood sexual abuse, the victim and survivor discourses, and the social construction of gender.

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DOI: 10.1177/0192513X08321493

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<meta-value>391 Beyond SurvivingGender Differences in Response to Early Sexual Experiences With Adults SAGE Publications, Inc.200910.1177/0192513X08321493 Sally V.Hunter University of New England, Armidale, Australia, sally.hunter@une.edu.au The aim of this research project was to explore how men and women constructed a sense of self through narrative following an early sexual experience with an adult. Using narrative inquiry methodology, 22 in-depth interviews were conducted in New South Wales, Australia, with 13 women and 9 men ages between 25 and 70. All participants had an early sexual experience at the age of 15 or younger with someone 18 or older. Narrative analysis was used to examine the co-constructed stories that emerged. Participants told four evolving narratives about their experiences: narratives of silence, of ongoing suffering, of transformation, and of transcendence. The gender differences between these narratives have been examined in the light of the literature relating to childhood sexual abuse, the victim and survivor discourses, and the social construction of gender. child sexual abuse narrative gender There is evidence from qualitative research studies of the potentially devastating impact that child sexual abuse can have on people's lives (Briggs, 1995; Cameron, 2000; Courtois, 1988; Darlington, 1996; Dolezal & Carballo-Dieguez, 2002; Dorais, 2002; Etherington, 1997, 2000; Fater & Mullaney, 2000; Gill & Tutty, 1999; Hall, 2000; Herman, 1981; Lev- Wiesel, 2000; Ray, 1996, 2001). This is supported by evidence from large- scale studies that have identified correlations between child sexual abuse and psychological distress (de Visser, Smith, Rissel, Richters, & Grulich, 2003; Edwards, Holden, Felitti, & Anda, 2003; W. C. Holmes & Slap, 1998; Author's Note: This article is based on my PhD research conducted at the University of New England. Please address correspondence to Sally V. Hunter, Room 313, Pat O'Shane Building, School of Health, University of New England, Armidale, New South Wales 2351, Australia; e-mail: sally.hunter@une.edu.au. 392 Neumann, Houskamp, Pollock, & Briere, 1996), including depression, alcohol abuse and antisocial behavior (Horwitz, Widom, McLaughlin, & White, 2001; MacMillan et al., 2001; Putnam, 2003), suicide risk (Dube et al., 2001), anxiety about sex (de Visser et al., 2003), and personal prob- lems, such as increased numbers of divorces and increased likelihood of unfaithfulness within relationships (Colman & Widom, 2004), among men and women. There is also evidence of low self-esteem and depression in women (Cecil & Matson, 2001), increased risk of revictimization in women (Coid et al., 2001) and men (King, Coxell, & Mezey, 2000), and problems related to intimate relationships and sexual functioning among men (Dhaliwal, Gauzas, Antonowicz, & Ross, 1996; W. C. Holmes & Slap, 1998; Watkins & Bentovim, 2000). The experience of child sexual abuse itself varies, in terms of its sever- ity, according to a large number of complex and interwoven factors, which makes it difficult to predict the effects, outcomes, and long-term conse- quences of child sexual abuse for an individual (Dhaliwal et al., 1996). Childhood maltreatment has often been conceived as a series of isolated events, whereas it is “typically part of a matrix of environmental problems such as poverty, unemployment, parental alcohol and drug problems, and inadequate family functioning” (Horwitz et al., 2001, p. 185). This makes it hard to differentiate the effects of child sexual abuse from those of asso- ciated chronic psychosocial adversity (Rutter, Giller, & Hagell, 1998). Much of the research in this field focuses on one gender or the other. Most studies appear to suggest that women who have experienced child sexual abuse have more symptoms of depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, and adjustment problems than men (Feiring, Taska, & Lewis, 2002; Horwitz et al., 2001; MacMillan et al., 2001; Rind, Tromovitch, & Bausermen, 1998; Sigmon, Greene, Rohan, & Nichols, 1996; Ullman & Filipas, 2005). However, a deeper exploration of the data reveals that this may be an oversimplification. In four of six of the studies quoted above, the women experienced more recent or more severe forms of abuse, including physical contact, than the men in the sample (Feiring et al., 2002; Rind et al., 1998; Sigmon et al., 1996; Ullman & Filipas, 2005). This difference in abuse severity may explain the higher levels of adult psy- chopathology found in women than in men. Issues of sexuality and human behavior are complex, and researchers have pointed out the variability in the impact of child maltreatment on adults (Bowers & Farvolden, 1996; Colman & Widom, 2004; Colton & Vanstone, 1996; Dallam et al., 2001; Durrant & Kowalski, 1990; Fergusson & Mullen, 1999; Haaken & Lamb, 2000; Himelein & McElrath, 1996; 393 Horwitz et al., 2001; Oellerich, 2000; Putnam, 2003; Seligman, 1994; Stanley, Bartholomew, & Oram, 2004). According to Finkelhor and Berliner (1995), about 40% of children experiencing child sexual abuse have few or no symptoms on standard measurements. A large study based on retrospective recall of childhood victimization concluded that after con- trolling for stressful life events, childhood maltreatment appeared to have very little measurable impact on any of the lifetime mental health outcomes measured (Horwitz et al., 2001). Hence the conclusion that child maltreat- ment does not necessarily lead to severe psychopathology (Putnam, 2003) or interpersonal dysfunction (Colman & Widom, 2004). To explain this variability of impact, researchers have tried to understand both the risk factors and the protective factors that might be at work (Herronkohl & Herronkohl, 2007; Jonzon & Lindblad, 2006; Masten, 2001; Najman, Nguyen, & Boyle, 2007; Werner, 2005; Wright, Fopma-Lay, & Fischer, 2005), the construct of resilience (Rutter, 1999; Rutter et al., 1998), and posttraumatic growth (Tedesci & Calhoun, 2004). Individual, familial, and environmental factors are all believed to have a buffering effect, includ- ing the child's intelligence and the level of parental resources and support (Masten, 2001; Masten & Coatsworth, 1998), good parenting (Serbin & Karp, 2004), self-esteem and social support in adulthood (Jonzon & Lindblad, 2006), and the ability to construct a supportive environment for oneself (Werner, 2005). Much of the research in this field has been based on clinical samples of childhood sexual abuse survivors. These are men and women who have acknowledged that their experiences in childhood had a profound impact on their lives and have entered therapy to overcome these difficulties. Less is known about people who have had early sexual experiences that they them- selves did not consider to be abusive or who have overcome their experi- ences without therapy. This study was an attempt to set aside the usual assumptions and to interview people about their childhood experiences, regardless of whether they believed them to be abusive, and to examine dif- ferences between the genders in terms of the construction of a sense of self following such experiences. Research Method The research question was defined as “How do men and women con- struct a sense of self following early sexual experiences with adults?” A sense of self was seen as constructed through dialogue (Pedersen, 2000) 394 and closely linked to the narratives that people tell about themselves to construct a socially acceptable sense of self (Neimeyer, 2000). These narratives were co-constructed (Gergen & Gergen, 2003; McLeod, 2001) and represented one version of what happened in the past, told to a particular person, at a particular time, in a particular context. All of the narratives told in this research study were retrospective, because they described events that hap- pened many years ago. However, some participants described the develop- ment of their narrative about this issue over time. The researcher used narrative inquiry methodology (DePoy & Gitlin, 2005). Having gained ethics approval for the study, the researcher recruited a purposive sample (Barbour, 2001) by placing a press release in local newspa- pers and by speaking on local radio in New South Wales, Australia. All those who volunteered to be interviewed had to be ages between 25 and 70, to have had an early sexual experience when they were younger than the age of 16 with someone older than the age of 18, and to not be currently under the care of a psychiatrist. The researcher took great care not to use the term child sexual abuse during the recruitment process, and the expression early sexual experi- ence was left open to interpretation by participants themselves. The purpose of the study was explained to all participants, who gave their informed consent in writing. The interviews were conducted in a con- venient public location, such as a community center, in a manner that assured the privacy of the participant. Most of the interviews lasted for about 1.5 hr, and participants were reassured that they could withdraw from the study at any time. They were reassured that if they became distressed, they would be given information about free counseling services in the area. The interviews began with a “generative narrative question” (Flick, 2006, p. 174) or broad invitation to tell their story in whatever way they wished. Most participants needed very little prompting and spoke at length, without interruption, about their early sexual experiences. The researcher was able to use interviewing skills and questions for clarification to facilitate a high level of disclosure while being mindful of the ethical responsibility to do no harm to participants (Haverkamp, 2005). The data were analyzed using Rosenthal and Fischer-Rosenthal's (2004) method of analysis and the NVivo data management program (Ezzy, 2002). Methodological procedures, such as preparing field notes and full tran- scripts within a week of each interview, were used to enhance the credibil- ity, authenticity, and dependability of the results (Minichiello, Fulton, & Sullivan, 1999). The data analysis included an exploration of biographical data, thematic analysis, reconstruction of case histories, an analysis of individual texts, a process of comparison between the narrative and the life 395 as lived, and the formation of different types of narratives (Rosenthal & Fisher-Rosenthal, 2004). There were 22 participants, 13 women and 9 men. Twenty identified as heterosexual, 1 as lesbian, and 1 as a bisexual male. Their experiences var- ied from a sexualized kiss to vaginal, oral, or anal intercourse. The women interviewed were younger than the men and more likely to have had exten- sive therapy relating to their childhood experiences. All 13 women had het- erosexual childhood experiences, mostly with their father or stepfather. Five of the 9 men had homosexual experiences with men who were known to them, 1 had a heterosexual experience, and 3 had sexual contact with adults of both sexes. All but 2 participants had experienced other forms of child maltreatment within the family. Most, but not all, now defined their experiences as abusive and focused on adult–child sexual contact rather than sexual contact between peers. None of the women interviewed described early sexual experiences with an older woman. When reading the findings, it should be remembered that the data were collected from a relatively small number of men and women who are not necessarily representative of a particular population. The methodology had four specific limitations: Participants were recruited through the media and were “volunteers”; the findings represented a reconstruction of events and were reliant on participants' memories; the findings were limited to a par- ticular social, cultural, and historical context except inasmuch as partici- pants described how their narratives had changed and developed over time; and the researcher inevitably influenced the narratives that participants chose to tell. Some readers may find their experiences distressing. Results Participants told four narratives about their early sexual experiences, which have been titled narratives of silence, ongoing suffering, transfor- mation, and transcendence. These four narratives have been described in greater detail elsewhere (Hunter, 2007). Six participants, 4 men and 2 women, told narratives of silence. They believed that they had not been severely affected by their early sexual experiences. Five participants, including 2 men and 3 women, told narratives of ongoing suffering that were similar to the narratives that are frequently told in the victim discourse. Narratives of transformation were similar to narratives in the survivor dis- course. The 6 participants telling this narrative were all women who felt that they had overcome their childhood experiences. Five participants, 3 men and 396 2 women, told narratives of transcendence, refusing to be defined by their childhood experiences, which they had put behind them. Participants have been divided into four groups according to the core themes of the narrative that they told. In the following description of each narrative, the similarities and differ- ences between the narratives told by men and women have been described. Narratives of Silence Six participants, 2 women and 4 men, told narratives of silence and believed that their early sexual experiences had not affected them. In gen- eral, these experiences had begun when they were adolescents and had been with men that they knew rather than with family members. They came from relatively functional family backgrounds, were able to develop satisfying careers, managed to avoid drug or alcohol dependence, and had not felt the need to seek professional help. Both women and men telling narratives of silence chose not to talk to anyone about their experiences as children and as adults. One man was speaking about his experiences for the first time ever, and 2 other men had only ever told their partners before the interview. There was a sense in which it was a relief to feel free to talk about the fact that they believed that they had not been severely affected by their early sexual experiences. Bert (who had sexual experiences with an older man at the age of 11) described his choice not to talk to friends about what happened: “The reason that I haven't discussed it, I think, is that I'm afraid of their reaction, because I don't think that I've been traumatized by this event.” These 6 participants believed that their early sexual experiences had not affected them negatively. They had been able to move on with their lives, carving out satisfying careers and fulfilling social lives for themselves, without ever telling their families what had happened. Two participants, Bert and Greta (who had sexual intercourse with a man age 25 at the age of 15), saw their experiences as part of their normal process of sexual devel- opment as adolescents and not as abusive experiences. Four participants, 1 woman and 3 men, now described their experiences as child sexual abuse but did not feel that they had been unduly affected. As Peter (who had sexual experiences with an older male cousin) said, “I got on with my life. It didn't seem to affect me.” In recent years, some of these participants had started to review their expe- riences in the light of societal concerns about pedophilia. They had begun to consider whether their intimate lives had, in fact, been negatively affected. In slightly different ways, 3 male participants were questioning their ability to 397 have fulfilling, intimate sexual relationships with their partners. For example, Anthony (who was sexually stimulated by two women as a young boy) real- ized that he was unable to have sex and love together: “I can't have the two things together. I can't have an intimate relationship that is meaningful.” He had numerous affairs but was unable to maintain a sexual relationship in either of his marriages. He was beginning to connect these events with his childhood experiences and had become depressed and suicidal. It would, of course, be easy to dismiss these narratives as a stories of denial or as naïve attempts to minimize or downplay the impact of early sexual expe- riences on childhood development. The question remains: Why did these par- ticipants volunteer for the study? The reason was that many of them had begun to question their own narrative. The media coverage of the issue of child sexual abuse and pedophilia appeared to have influenced them. They now felt ashamed that they had not reported their abusers and were fearful that other children might have been sexually abused as a consequence of their silence. Peter became tearful when he said, “As the awareness became more, I thought, `Well maybe I've done the wrong thing in not raising this issue.'” The men felt a sense of shame and responsibility about their sexual experiences, whether they were with women or with men. Peter never told his friends what had happened: “They might have thought I was homosex- ual or something.” Jim (who had been anally penetrated by a schoolmaster from the age of 13 to 15) demonstrated his feelings of shame when he said, “You're probably absolutely bloody disgusted.” In adulthood, he had become involved with bondage and discipline with consenting women and recognized that he was reenacting what had happened to him as a child. He said, “I'm really disgusted with meself [sic]. I think it's bloody unnatural.” Narratives of Ongoing Suffering Five participants, 3 women and 2 men, told narratives of ongoing suf- fering. Life presented many challenges for these participants, who saw themselves as victims of traumatic childhood sexual experiences that had a profound impact on them. Some believed that they had been let down by society as well as by individual adults. They told problem-saturated narra- tives similar to those reported in the child sexual abuse and the recovered memory literature. They had difficulty moving forward with their lives and felt violated, damaged, and betrayed. Two participants, 1 woman and 1 man, had repressed all memory of their childhood maltreatment and had learned to dissociate from their intense feel- ings of anger and shame. They were in the process of recovering memories 398 of child sexual abuse and were experiencing great distress. Sylvia (who had recently recovered memories of being raped by her father at the age of 8) described how recovering this memory had destroyed her confidence and shat- tered her hope for the future: “He killed, he sort of destroyed any hope I had of actually being an amazingly beautiful daughter and person.” Tess (who had grown up in a sexualized environment involving her mother and her stepfather) had only recently put a name to her experiences. Tess said, “I never thought of myself as being abused. I never actually put a name on it. It just, it happened. It wasn't until years later that it was named.” For Sylvia, Tess, and Paulians, the realization that they had been sexually abused helped to explain the chaos and suffering that they experi- enced as adolescents, including drug and alcohol abuse, feeling suicidal, and having sexual encounters outside the context of a committed relation- ship. As Paulians (who had recovered memories of ritual abuse at the age of 12) said, “When I was at the height of my alcohol and drug addiction, I'd wake up with a whole lot of people and not know how I'd got there.” Two other participants, 1 woman and 1 man, also believed that they were victims but had developed a sense of self as campaigning for the rights of others. For example, Hope (who was raped by a neighbor from the age of 4) described herself as “an anti–serial child rapist campaigner.” Through their pursuit of social justice, these 2 participants demonstrated a potential developmental aspect to the four narratives in that they had salvaged a more positive identity from their childhood experiences and could have been included in the following narratives of transformation. However, they still seemed to be embroiled in their childhood experiences and unable to move forward in life and were, therefore, included in the narrative of ongoing suffering. Narratives of Transformation Six women told narratives of transformation that positioned them as having survived their childhood maltreatment and emerged as stronger women as a result. Five of the 6 had experienced incest with a father or stepfather. On average, this sexual contact started when they were 6 years old and lasted for 5 years on average. They had also experienced other forms of childhood maltreatment and had extensive therapy. Their narra- tives were similar to the socially acceptable quest or survivor narratives common in the survivor literature that place the narrator as an individual heroine (Liamputtong & Ezzy, 2005) rather than part of a social movement confronting injustice (Crossley, 2000). 399 In a similar way to those women telling narratives of ongoing suffering, these women felt responsible for what had happened to them for a long time. Most were too fearful, ashamed, or full of self-blame to tell anyone as children. For example, Jewels (who had recovered memories of sexual con- tact with various men from the age of 3 to 7) explained, “There was this feeling that everything that happened was my fault, I was responsible for it, that I was dirty, I was evil. And so I had to keep it quiet.” Some women developed a pattern of entering abusive relationships with men as adults believing, as Jewels did, “I don't have a right to say `no' to men, that I have to submit.” Others avoided sexual contact with men. For example, Tina (who was sexually abused by her aunt's boyfriend from a young age) described herself as “avoiding boys when I was growing up.” These 6 women all described developing a relational sense of self. Three chose to protect other family members and had worked in the helping pro- fessions as adults. Three chose to seek justice and reported their victimiz- ers when they were adults, hoping to break the cycle of abuse for the next generation. However, they often paid a heavy price in terms of the break- down of their relationships with other family members. Tina described her fear for her daughter: “My daughter is pulled in by the family. It's almost like you are being groomed by the family.” All of these women were aware of the major impacts that their childhood maltreatment had on their lives. Some described how they had previously told narratives of ongoing suffering. However, they had come to terms with these experiences and found comfort in their ability to protect future gen- erations from child abuse. They were motivated by a desire to protect their own and other people's children. Jewels described her goal in life: “As I heal myself, being able to start reaching out to other people, and helping people through this journey.” Narratives of Transcendence Five participants, 2 women and 3 men, told narratives of transcendence, refusing to be seen as victims or survivors or to be defined by their child- hood experiences in any way. They had developed spiritually and wanted to be seen as people rather than be defined by, or have their sense of identity linked to, their childhood maltreatment. They felt that they had transcended their pasts and had developed a positive sense of self of themselves in the world. Although these narratives of transcendence had a spiritual quality to them, they were told in a down-to-earth manner by men and women who longed to be seen as normal rather than as “damaged goods.” Will (who was 400 sexually abused by unknown men when he was running away from a boys' home) was angry about the way the society blamed the victim, which he saw as a form of revictimization: “You've been dirtied by this thing. You've been broken by this.” He refused to see himself as a victim. Diana (who was raped by 14 men at the age of 14) stated that she would prefer people to see her as a “tart” rather than as a victim. This was a defiant narrative told by men and women who had all grown up in abusive environments. They had all experienced physical, emotional, and sexual abuse from a young age and recognized the impact that these events had on them as children and as adults. However, they did not want their identities to be linked to their childhood experiences. Belinda (who was sexually abused by her stepfather from the age of 5 to 13) wanted to be able to say publicly, “I was sexually abused as a child, and I don't expect you to think any less of me as a person, or to judge me, or to think that I might become a perpetrator.” There were some similarities between the men telling this narrative and those telling narratives of silence. They had all chosen not to talk about their experiences and believed that they had moved beyond them. The main difference was that those telling narratives of silence believed that their early sexual experiences had not affected them a great deal, except perhaps in their intimate relationships, whereas these men knew that they had been affected but refused to be stereotyped. Both these narratives, as defined in this study, are uncommon in the child sexual abuse literature. Discussion This study adds evidence about the wide range of functional narratives that both men and women tell after experiencing child sexual abuse. The design of the study is unusual in that it invited adults to talk about their “early sexual experiences,” rather than asking a clinical sample of “sur- vivors” to discuss their “child sexual abuse.” This enabled people to come forward who had not been traumatized by their experiences and had not had years of therapy. This also meant that they were able to tell a wider range of narratives, rather than focusing on victim and survivor narratives. It was difficult to assign some participants to a particular group narra- tive, given the progression over time that they described in their narratives. For example, Jewels and Tina both described moving from narratives of ongoing suffering to those of transformation. This may represent a devel- opmental process between narratives. There was also a sense in which the 401 narrative of silence was unraveling for some participants, because it was no longer a socially acceptable narrative. Societal pressure seemed to have influenced participants' willingness to disclose their childhood maltreat- ment in adulthood, with participants telling narratives of transcendence becoming less willing to talk openly and those telling narratives of ongoing suffering or transformation feeling more empowered to speak about their experiences. Those telling narratives of silence were just beginning to tell their stories as adults. The main barriers to disclosure were the feelings of fear, shame, and self- blame experienced by participants. When they were children, participants described feeling afraid of being shamed, blamed, disbelieved, or punished if they disclosed what was happening to them. They felt ashamed of their own involvement, especially if the sexual experiences were homosexual in nature. As participants grew older, there was a movement toward disclosure. In adulthood, some felt able to disclose their childhood maltreatment to the police and to family members, whereas others wanted to continue to protect their family members and made only limited disclosures to their intimate partners or to the researcher. The factors making disclosure easier in adult- hood included intrapsychic factors, such as increase in self-esteem and a reduction in feelings of fear, shame, and self-blame; familial and structural factors, such as living away from home, having more social support, and having children of the age that they were when their own sexual abuse began; and societal influences, such as the victim and survivor discourses. Beyond Victim and Survivor Narratives The victim narrative is a healing or restitution narrative (Crossley, 2000) similar to narratives of ongoing suffering, told by those recovering memories of child maltreatment. These participants were working hard in therapy in the hope that this would result in healing of the wounds of childhood. In the past 20 years, victim narratives have, to a large extent, been replaced by survivor narratives (Warner & Feltey, 1999), which are similar to narratives of trans- formation. The survivor is now the preferred cultural narrative in the sense that it portrays a young person, usually a woman, who has overcome child- hood adversity and has been transformed in the process into a better person. Both the victim and survivor narratives are common in the child sexual abuse (Kaye, 2005; Naples, 2003; Reavey & Gough, 2000) and domestic abuse literature (Dunn, 2005). These discourses have been adopted by professionals who encourage their clients to move from the position of victim to that of sur- vivor (Breckenridge, 1999; West, 1998). However, some theoreticians have 402 begun to question the usefulness of these narratives and argue that they are gendered discourses that privatize the issue (Breckenridge, 1999; Naples, 2003) and can be stigmatizing for the survivor (Phillips & Daniluk, 2004; Reavey & Gough, 2000). It has been argued that the social identity of a sur- vivor anchors the woman's sense of self in her abuse and is based on under- lying assumptions about heteropatriachy (Naples, 2003; Warner, 2003; Worrell, 2003). For many people who have experienced traumatic events in their lives, there is a tension between needing to remember and needing to forget (Thompson, 1999). Most participants did not disclose what had happened to them when they were children. Although there is a movement toward telling as the child matures into adulthood, this was not the case for every- one. Some victims or survivors chose to remain silent about their experi- ences, thereby privileging the need to forget over the need to remember. They often told narratives of silence. To do this, they had to withstand con- siderable social pressure placed on them to tell their stories, both to have a cathartic release from the painful impact of their experiences and to warn and protect other children. They were resisting this pressure to turn their narrative into a moral tale (Crossley, 2000) but had begun to name their experiences as abusive. During the 1970s and '80s, child sexual abuse was named publicly as a crime against women and children, and incest was described as father– daughter rape (Ward, 1984). As more and more celebrities and public figures, such as Oprah Winfrey, acknowledged in the '90s that they had been sexually abused as children (Trotter, 2004) and discussed the terrible impact that it had had on them, it became harder for participants to main- tain that they had not been affected in the same way. Narratives of silence became socially unacceptable and difficult to discuss publicly. Under this social pressure, participants telling these narratives began to doubt their own stories and to question whether they had been affected by their expe- riences. This doubt appeared to have led them to speak out in this study. Participants telling narratives of transcendence were men and women who refused to be labeled as victims or survivors and rejected hegemonic beliefs about victimization. They disliked the way society, and therapists, labeled people as victims or survivors and believed that this label carried with it the implication that they had been somehow damaged or dirtied by their experiences (Haaken & Lamb, 2000). They wanted to be seen as people within their own right, not as people who had been sexually abused. They knew that their experiences had affected them profoundly, but they also believed that they had transcended them. 403 This study adds to the growing evidence that both the victim and sur- vivor discourses are potentially limiting and possibly even stigmatizing. About half of the participants in this study, particularly, the men inter- viewed, did not relate to either of these discourses and preferred to tell nar- ratives of either silence or transcendence. On the other hand, half of the participants, particularly, women, did relate to these discourses. They felt a sense of relief to be able to describe their experiences of child sexual abuse and experienced a feeling of solidarity with other victims or survivors (Phillips & Daniluk, 2004). It is possible that there is a gender difference operating here and that women are more likely to find the victim and sur- vivor discourses empowering, whereas men are more likely to find them stigmatizing and unhelpful. Fine, Weis, Weseen, and Wong (2003) warned against the danger of cre- ating an artificial dichotomy in the representation of historically oppressed groups “as `victimized' and `damaged' compared to a representation of them as `resilient' and `strong'” (p. 197). They point out the ethical respon- sibility for qualitative researchers to resist the oversimplification of stories of victimization without any evidence of resistance or agency or of heroic stories of individuals who deny the difficulties they faced (Fine et al., 2003, p. 198). Perhaps there is a need for more recognition that although hege- monic femininity is an oppressive discourse in relation to young girls who have been sexually abused, it also allows for greater acceptance of female victims. Paradoxically this may enable more women than men to have a voice and to work through their experiences more openly, leading to better long-term adjustment than for male sexual abuse victims (Werner, 2005). Gender Differences Between Narratives Even though there were significant differences between the genders in this research study, there were also similarities that must not be overlooked. The main similarities were that both men and women tended to blame themselves for what had happened to them as children, and most did not tell anyone what was happening to them when young. The main reasons given for this nondisclosure were feelings of fear, shame, and self-blame. Both men and women went on to experience problems with intimacy, trust, and other difficulties in adulthood, such as drug and alcohol problems and depression and suicidality. However, there were also important gender dif- ferences both in terms of their early sexual experiences, which were het- erosexual in nature for all the women interviewed, and stemming from the impact of gender socialization. 404 In Australia, as in the United States, the dominant cultural conception of female sexuality has been that women are “passive, devoid of desire, and subor- dinate to male needs and desires” (Tolman, Striepe, & Harmon, 2003, p. 6). Gilligan (1982) believed that the female socialization process requires young girls to suppress their “masculine” emotions, such as anger, to remain in emo- tional connection with others, particularly men. Tolman (1994) described this as an “ironic tendency to silence their own thoughts and feelings for the sake of relationships” (p. 324), thereby placing women in the role of the passive victim. Feminists have argued that women have been stereotypically divided into Madonnas and whores (Welldon, 1988), good chaste girls or bad sex- ually active girls (Tolman, 2002). Within this study, both these extremes of behavior were evident to some extent, with some women describing them- selves in a derogatory manner, such as Diana, describing herself as a “tart” and Karen, using the words “true hussy” and “biggest slut in the world” to describe herself in her 20s. Some described themselves as being unable to say no to men when they were younger, whereas others avoided sexual inti- macy. However, this polarized view of women was an oversimplification. Many female participants believed the dominant cultural narrative that their early sexual experiences had damaged and dirtied them. This social construction of victimhood was entwined with beliefs about traditional femininity (Tolman et al., 2003), because victims of child sexual abuse have long been assumed to be female and victimizers assumed to be male (Tolman et al., 2003). Such beliefs have stigmatized women and ignored the gendered social context of the crime of child sexual abuse (McCarthy, 1997). The change of nomenclature from victim to survivor was intended to empower women and has been described as “the beginning of a move from the role of silent victim to that of indignant survivor” (Somer & Szwarcberg, 2001, p. 332). However, some of these participants were questioning how successful this move had been in reality. One of the advantages for female participants was that they were more likely to tell others earlier than men, perhaps because they placed greater value on relationships. Many developed a relational sense of self either as protectors of others, as seekers of justice, or as people who break the cycle of abusive behavior within their family. They were often motivated to do this by having children of their own. They became effective at mobilizing their anger and placing the blame on their abusers (Lev-Wiesel, 2000). Some were able to use their own strengths and resources to overcome their childhood maltreatment without any support from their families, thereby demonstrating the quality that Werner (2005) sees in women of being able to find strengths from within. This can be seen in some ways as 405 nonstereotypical behavior, which sometimes cost them dearly in terms of their long-term relationships with their families. By contrast, young boys were taught, through gender socialization, not to express their emotions. This emotional inexpressiveness can have nega- tive consequences for men (Englar-Carlson, 2006) and prevent them from expressing what are seen as feminine traits, such as weakness or vulnera- bility (Mezey & King, 2000). Emotions associated with vulnerability, such as fear or sadness, are particularly taboo (Briere & Scott, 2006). As a result, “the typical Australian male, whether we talk about the bushman, the bat- tler, the larrikin, or the suburban ocker, understands masculinity as machismo and thinks that `being masculine' means being tough, forceful, and aggressively defensive” (Tacey, 1995, p. 51). According to Kia-Keating and her colleagues (Kia-Keating, Grossman, Sorsoli, & Epstein, 2005), when they experience early victimization, some men are torn between their desire to accept traditional masculine roles and the risk of being labeled as effeminate if they reveal their victim status. As a result they are less likely to disclose their early sexual experiences with adults to others. Those male participants who had early sexual experiences with other men feared either that they had been chosen by their victimizer because of their own hidden homosexual traits, that they would become homosexual as a result, or that they would be believed to be homosexual if others knew about their experiences. Male participants who had early sexual experiences with women were also distressed, particularly if their experiences had been with their own mothers. As Dorais (2002) pointed out, “There is an assumption that a `real man' would not allow himself to be dependent, vulnerable, weak, or pas- sive; that a `real man' or boy knows how to avoid problems” (p. 17). This makes it hard for boys to ask for help or to tell anyone what is happening to them. Perhaps partly as a result of this, male participants who volun- teered for this study were more likely than female participants to be expe- riencing depression or to be having problems in their intimate lives or relationships at the time of the interview. There was evidence in this study of extremes of masculine behavior, with some men becoming stoical and trying to appear normal and others becoming aggressive as young men both physically and sexually. According to Levant (1997), some sexually abused boys act out an extreme form of hypermasculinity in terms of behaving aggressively, striving for sexual conquests, and resorting to nonrelational sex. It is also known that if a man has been sexually abused as a child, this increases the risk of his moving from victim to offender and going on to 406 sexually abuse others, even though most do not (Salter et al., 2003). Given that boys do not value relationships in the same way that girls do, have fewer relational skills, and are restricted emotionally, they may find it even harder than girls to recover from the relational injury caused by early sexual experiences (Hunter, 2007) and to experience more psychiatric symptoms in adulthood (Gold, Lucenko, Elhai, Swingle, & Sellers, 1999). Society has been reluctant to view boys as victims of child sexual abuse, partly because men are still seen as predators (G. R. Holmes, Offen, & Waller, 1997). Until the problem of sexual abuse of boys becomes more widely acknowledged, it seems unlikely that men will talk of these experiences. Lisak (1997) argued that for men in particular, the result of child sexual abuse often is a relatively disconnected experience of sexuality, in which intense emotions are suppressed, and there is an impaired capacity for empathy. Both these impairments increase the male's capacity for sexually exploitative or sexually violent behavior. (p. 174) Clearly, there is a need for a great deal more research to explain the com- plicated dynamics that lead some men and women to continue the abuse cycle into the next generation (Sullivan, Mullen, & Pathe, 2005). Conclusions This research project was conducted in an unconventional manner in that those interviewed were not “survivors of child sexual abuse” but men and women who had had an “early sexual experience” with an adult. As a result, four narratives emerged that go beyond the victim and survivor discourse. The influence of the victim and survivor discourse was examined and was shown to offer some people, particularly women, a sense of solidarity with other victim or survivors. For others, particularly men, these discourses were seen as limiting, stigmatizing, and unhelpful. There were many ways in which both men and women were able to overcome or transcend their early sexual experiences by developing a coherent narrative about these experiences. As adults, most had been able to view their own behavior as understandable, given the difficult circum- stances that they faced as children, and to place responsibility in the hands of their victimizers. Some, particularly women, told narratives of ongoing suffering or transformation whereas others, particularly men, told the para- doxical narrative of silence or rejected the victim and survivor discourse 407 and told narratives of transcendence. 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<title>Beyond Surviving</title>
<subTitle>Gender Differences in Response to Early Sexual Experiences With Adults</subTitle>
</titleInfo>
<titleInfo type="alternative" lang="en" contentType="CDATA">
<title>Beyond Surviving</title>
<subTitle>Gender Differences in Response to Early Sexual Experiences With Adults</subTitle>
</titleInfo>
<name type="personal">
<namePart type="given">Sally V.</namePart>
<namePart type="family">Hunter</namePart>
<affiliation>University of New England, Armidale, Australia,</affiliation>
<affiliation>E-mail: sally.hunter@une.edu.au</affiliation>
</name>
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<dateIssued encoding="w3cdtf">2009-03</dateIssued>
<copyrightDate encoding="w3cdtf">2009</copyrightDate>
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<abstract lang="en">The aim of this research project was to explore how men and women constructed a sense of self through narrative following an early sexual experience with an adult. Using narrative inquiry methodology, 22 in-depth interviews were conducted in New South Wales, Australia, with 13 women and 9 men ages between 25 and 70. All participants had an early sexual experience at the age of 15 or younger with someone 18 or older. Narrative analysis was used to examine the co-constructed stories that emerged. Participants told four evolving narratives about their experiences: narratives of silence, of ongoing suffering, of transformation, and of transcendence. The gender differences between these narratives have been examined in the light of the literature relating to childhood sexual abuse, the victim and survivor discourses, and the social construction of gender.</abstract>
<subject>
<genre>keywords</genre>
<topic>child sexual abuse</topic>
<topic>narrative</topic>
<topic>gender</topic>
</subject>
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<title>Journal of Family Issues</title>
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<genre type="journal">journal</genre>
<identifier type="ISSN">0192-513X</identifier>
<identifier type="eISSN">1552-5481</identifier>
<identifier type="PublisherID">JFI</identifier>
<identifier type="PublisherID-hwp">spjfi</identifier>
<part>
<date>2009</date>
<detail type="volume">
<caption>vol.</caption>
<number>30</number>
</detail>
<detail type="issue">
<caption>no.</caption>
<number>3</number>
</detail>
<extent unit="pages">
<start>391</start>
<end>412</end>
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<identifier type="istex">19A265B17E796C2F11F76949368A5710C3C320A4</identifier>
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